Daydreams
By Alice Limoges
Since I was 13 years old, I'd always figured I would die at my own hand. I struggled with depression for many years which was later relabeled as bipolar disorder. Music was a solace to me all those years as I lived with my sadness and lack of feeling juxtaposed against occasional blasts of overwhelming energy and edgy euphoria.
In 2015 I spent a week in a psychiatric unit for severe suicidal thoughts. Daydreams is an expression of the feeling of losing control of your identity and the loss of self I felt when my bipolar was at its worst.
I was able to collaborate with Jon Jetter as a co-producer. Gabe Terraciano, Susan Mandel, and Elena Bonamo all played beautifully on this track. The video was shot in my own home at the time in Port Chester, NY. Fumi Huang danced as an incarnation of my mental illness in a video shot by Brandon Pettus. I am thankful for these collaborators for making a piece of art that is one of the most true things I've ever written.
I also want to say that since this time, I've found a much happier home in my body. I rarely feel the dichotomy of the two selves expressed in this song. I attribute this to therapy, my times in the hospital, medication, self care, healthy and supportive relationships, and my opportunity to express myself through my art. I hope anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts seeks help through any of those means. Getting to a hospital if you're in an emergency is such a wonderful option. It's like going into another reality where time stands still, but it saved my life and I am grateful that I had that opportunity. Take care of yourselves because you all have something special to contribute to this world.
About the Artists
Alice Limoges
Born and raised on a mountain by the sea in coastal Maine, Alice Limoges was singing before she could walk. After spending 7 years working in the New York City music scene, the coronavirus pandemic pushed her back to Maine last March. Alice has released 4 albums including her most recent, "It Stole Myself From Me", which features this song.